New Awareness and Feeling Healed

Our spiritual awakenings have many different types of energies and phases. They all bring something unique to the process of awakening, and sometimes they are surprising. From my experience, they all add value in their own way, and all are part of our growth.

Late Wednesday night, I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling. And then, out of nowhere, awareness came. I saw how and why my throat and heart chakras had been blocked. When it began and how it continued throughout my life. It was a miracle of self-awareness that became a key to unlocking the truth of myself.

Twice I’ve received energy healing. The first time was shortly after my double mastectomy. As soon as I was healthy enough, and healed enough, I sought energy healing from a trusted source. After the session she told me that she saw a blocked throat chakra.

At the time, I had no idea what caused it and imagined it was due to past life trauma. I was still unaware of my own abuse and neglect. Which meant I didn’t yet have the self-awareness to fully understand my path. That healing hadn’t happened yet.

By the next time I received energy healing, I had forgotten all about the blocked throat chakra. Again, I hired a trusted source. She was a talented healer and we both had an amazing experience. In our post-healing discussion, she too brought up my blocked throat chakra. With that confirmation, I knew it was time to begin the work.

It began simply. I set intentions, wore crystals aligned with the 5th chakra, and began using my voice. One of the ways I used my voice was to sing. Remembering back to my younger life, I began to listen to music, sing, and dance around the house. My blog was also part of my chakra work.

As I did the intentional work of opening my throat chakra, spirit pitched in. My throat was treated to healing and awakening. As was my heart chakra, which was blocked as well. My lower chakra carried many blockages and wounds as well. It all needed work.

Our chakras are a system. An energy system that is designed to flow. When one is blocked the flow is stunted and other chakras become blocked. My throat needed to open so my heart could open. My heart needed to open so my lower chakra could flow. It is all connected.

The work wasn’t a constant focus, but the practices were ongoing. The practices, years of inner work, and my awakening process were what allowed all my chakra to open and begin to flow. It may have taken years, but it was all worth it when I received the awareness Wednesday night.

What spirit showed me was the beginning, middle, and end of the story of my chakra blockages. It began when I was young and continued throughout my life. By the time I was in high school, I was miserable and neglected. My family was incapable of love. None of us knew how to have healthy relationships. And that impacted every aspect of my life.

From the beginning, my boyfriends were controlling, and I allowed it. I didn’t know any other way. I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. I had never seen one, so it had never been modeled for me. Unhealthy relationships, including the one with myself, continued to be a part of my life.

In my 20’s, I continued to choose people who would either control me or neglect me. Sometimes both. Usually both. Apparently, my light shone in a way that threatened the men in my life, and I allowed it. They all tried to shut it down. I learned to become small and dim my light.

I learned on that Wednesday night that all my romantic relationships were toxic and destructive. It would be easy to blame the men in my life, including family members, but it wouldn’t be fair. They were living their own lives, and I was choosing the relationships. Which, to be fair, was my problem.

Throughout my life, my relationship picker was broken. I was choosing from my wounds. I was choosing from my trauma. I wasn’t choosing from a healthy sense of self. I was choosing from an unhealed place. So, I chose men and relationships that were unhealthy for me.

My unhealthy relationships weren’t just personal, they were also professional. Not knowing how to love myself spilled into every area of my life including my career. I had no idea what a healthy partnership looked, sounded, or felt like. And it crushed my soul for a very long time.

Thursday, as I sat to write about my new awareness, I knew I was healed. As I recalled the prior night, I realized that I had no emotional response to it. I wasn’t sad or angry. I didn’t cry or rage. I was at peace.

The lack of emotional charge, and my ability to receive self-awareness, showed me that I had healed. What was left was acceptance, forgiveness, and inner peace. I felt, I feel, at peace with my life and my path.

Like I said in last week’s post, I am in a new era. The past patterns cannot be repeated. I have new awareness and am feeling healed. This new era is being co-created, and I am becoming the person my soul was sent here to be. I am living in alignment with my soul.

That is what our spiritual awakenings do for us. While in them they seem like long winding roads to only God knows where or what. But in the end, all the roads lead to self-awareness, healing, and the ability to align ourselves with our soul and our purpose.

The image in this post was made in Canva.

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul,

Nikki