My Sexual Awakening: Part Four

Learning to Flow, Healing, and Why I’m Writing This Series.

Up until this point, I had been having amazing intimate experiences during my sexual awakening. In this next phase, I was learning how to flow with sexual energy and healing through the process.

There was/is no partner involved in my sexual awakening. I was learning to enjoy myself. My sexual awakening wasn’t for anyone else, it was for me to experience and grow through. It was for me to learn to be a more authentic version of myself, including my sexuality and sensuality.

This phase, part four, is about experiencing pleasure, learning to flow with the energies, and healing through it all.

October 28th, 2022.

“Sacred Sexual – on the sofa, in the sun, orgasm, relax and let it flow to me. With the plants it’s like making love outdoors.”

In this passage, the key word is “flow”. I was learning to allow sexual and sensual energies to flow to me and through me. Being in flow is what allowed me to begin healing.

November 16th, 2022.

“Sacred Sex – crying, releasing, releasing many years of self-neglect, releasing energy of others’ neglect of me.

“Orgasms seem blocked for now.”

Next, in my journal, I note synchronistic numbers that tell me “Everything will work for the best” and “trust the changes”. I was deep in healing mode and angels were reassuring me.

There were periods throughout my awakening process when it seemed nothing happened. Sometimes my sexual awakening was set aside to do other inner work, and sometimes I just wasn’t in the vibration of sexuality and sensuality.

All the various aspects of our awakenings connect. And often those connections are a mystery until we can look back through the fullness of time. Trusting the process makes all the difference.

November 22nd, 2022.

“Sacred Sex

“Sensuous, dancing, touching, arousal

“Working through energy block.

“Spirit was very helpful, coaching.

“It was deep, loving, orgasm X 2, bliss.”

In hindsight, I am so very grateful to have been coached through my sexual awakening. I don’t know if I could have healed on my own. My Spirit team helped me understand my trauma experience and helped me heal. They guided me through the process gently and patiently.

My sexual awakening has been a blessing in so many ways. I am grateful.

November 28th, 2022.

“Strong energy work, some stretching, and then masturbation. It was bliss. I had two easy orgasms that felt fluid and in flow. Pure bliss.

Once I had moved through a cycle of crying, releasing, and healing, my sexual flow was back on track. There are cycles and phases to sexual awakening just like there are for spiritual awakening. Until I read through my journals to write this series, I had no awareness of the cycles of my sexual awakening that I was moving through.

My spiritual awakening is much the same. Some of the cycles, growth, and healing that I experienced are only now coming to my awareness. Partly because the changes move slowly and are intertwined with other growth, and partly because I was just trying trust the process and keep moving forward. Learning to trust myself and the process has been a big part of all my awakening processes.

My Why.

While I’ve been writing and publishing this series, some amazing things have been happening on my path. All the changes and shift that have been occurring have allowed me clarity about why I’m writing about my sexual awakening.

Why would I do this, write about my sexuality and sexual awakening? All my life, I have been modest, reserved, and shrunken into a shell of myself. What (WTF!) is the deal with me exposing my most intimate awakening process?

At first, my goal was to trust the process and follow my intuitive guidance. It wasn’t easy. It took practice. With each new sexual awakening post, I worked through overwhelming energy. There were doubts, fears, and a little anxiety that I needed to manage.

Energy releasing was a frequent practice. Old energy blocks that came up and were worked through. My faith and trust in the process was affirmed over and over again.

Through it, I learned that I was growing into a more authentic version of myself, one that could fulfill all my soul’s purposes. Even ones that have yet to materialize.

Is that the only reason to expose my tender bits, to grow? No. So, why would I go through all of this and risk myself by going against societal norms?

Because sexual awakenings are happening whether we are talking and reading about them or not.

If a sexual awakening is happening for me, it is happening for others. I am not the only one. I can’t quantify it; I have no receipts. But I can’t be the only one experiencing a sexual awakening. The odds of that being true are equal to those of a living, breathing unicorn prancing around Scotland.

If you take anything away from these posts know that you are not alone. There are many of us from all over the world waking up and living these extraordinary lives and spiritual paths.

Keeping going, trust the process, and trust your guidance. Build relationships with your inner team and your spirit team. They will guide you to your most authentic self, and it will be beautiful.

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul,

Nikki