How My Spiritual Awakening Has Changed Me

Five years ago, if you asked me if I knew myself, I would have been certain that I did. I worked in corporate finance and accounting. I worked hard and tried to be a good leader. I never talked about my personal life. It was personal, and I didn’t share it with anyone.

That’s what I knew of myself until I experienced my spiritual awakening and realized that I had no idea what I wanted in my life. I didn’t know what my trauma was. I didn’t know what brought me joy. I didn’t know what my needs were. I learned that I didn't know myself at all.

Then I learned about myself in ways I couldn’t imagine during my spiritual awakening. There were hard lessons, psychic experiences, and beautiful growth. And, in the fullness of time, it was a beautiful journey of self-discovery.

Working Through Trauma and Abuse.

It was hard to face my trauma, but it was an important part of my awakening process. Spirit gently guided me to resources that helped me understand what trauma is, and what trauma and abuse I had experienced. I was carefully guided out of denial and into healing.

Whether it was abuse directed at me or pervasive neglect, my life had been entirely guided by my responses to my life’s experiences. I was living from and through the energy of trauma. It appears many of us are.

I didn’t know that most people experience some sort of trauma. Mine was buried underneath denial and neglect. When it started to come into my awareness, I began to understand the impact of traumatic events in my life.

I learned how I shut down because I was never allowed to use my voice. It started in my family when I was young. And because it was what I was familiar with I continued to shut down and not use my voice as an adult. As a result, I didn’t have a voice, and my throat chakra was blocked. It was identified early on in my awakening process and has been worked on diligently since.

It wasn’t just my voice that I shut down. I was emotionally shut down as well. There was no one in my life that I trusted enough to confide in. Some of it was learned behavior through my familial relationships, and some was a result of not knowing how to create relationships.

As a result, both my heart chakra and root chakra were blocked. The blockage impacted my health. I’ve had five surgeries on my chest. My root chakra has always been impacted by a lower back injury. My body bears the scars of my trauma and abuse.

Spirit and I worked through it all and cleared the energetic blockages. I learned to release past energies and forgive myself and others. I learned to release attachment to anything and everything that was no longer serving a purpose.

When it started, I had no idea that a spiritual awakening could do this. I had no idea that I could discover and work through my trauma and abuse. And, as a result, I was able to heal and recover body, mind, heart, and soul.

Healing Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul.

As I worked through the trauma and abuse, healing was occurring. My body, mind, heart, and soul were healing. And healing in a way that allowed me to create relationships with those aspects of myself.

My soul and I became deeply connected. She guides us forward through our intuition. She is our inner spirit and our light. She is the best of us, and I am so glad that we have a relationship.

Through a series of heart awakenings, my heart opened. I healed from breast cancer, and my lungs began to function better. I learned to love and be loved. We cleared trauma and cleared karma, both mine and my ancestors’. I healed relationships with family in Spirit through mediumship.

I healed more first chakra blockages than I knew existed within me. When my first chakra opened and began to flow, my spine and hips also healed and began to move with more ease. My mind calmed as I surrendered to Spirit and trusted the process.

Through my healing journey, I found myself being able to love again, and more deeply. I learned what love felt like as I experienced Divine love. I learned what it felt like to be loved from how loved I was by angels and Spirit. And I learned to love myself deeply, and in ways I didn’t know were possible. I learned to love myself body, mind, heart, and soul.

So Much Growth.

When my spiritual awakening started, I had been playing small in my life for so long I didn’t realize it. I was miserable and felt powerless to change. The light inside me, my soul, set the intention to change my entire life.

Working through my trauma, abuse, and then healing allowed for so much growth. Acknowledging my trauma, forgiving, and healing has given me the tools to navigate new and healthy relationships. Not only with others, but also with myself.

During my spiritual awakening I learned that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP). Once I was shown incidents in my life that proved that I have always been an HSP. That awareness changed so much for me. I now know how to move through the world as an HSP.

I now know what my needs are and how to have them met and fulfilled. I know how to ask for help and how to surrender to the help that arrives. I now feel empowered to make the changes that align with my needs body, mind, heart, and soul. And I know who and what no longer resonates and am empowered to walk away.

My spiritual awakening has taught me to manage my energy, my vibration. I recognize some vibrations and know how to manage them. I know which frequencies are signals of work to be done. I know which frequencies I need to block. I also know which frequencies I want more of in my life. Which all means that I know who I am and what I want.

I have grown and changed in every way possible. I feel like an entirely different person from who I was before my awakening. I feel like the person I was meant to be. I feel like I am living in my best and highest timeline, even when life’s challenges arise.

I knew nothing about spiritual awakenings when mine started. I had no idea that it meant a journey of self-discovery, healing and growth.

I imagine each spiritual awakening is unique. Each of us has the journey we need, want, and desire. Each one of us co-creates something special with Spirit. Each one of us has the experience we are meant to have. Each one of us is meant to be loved.

The Image.

The image in this post is a portion of a painting titled "Set Me Free” by Megan McKinnell. The first time I saw it, years before my awakening, I remember thinking “That’s what I want. I want to be free.” I have a print that I bought from the artist that same day. It hangs in my personal sanctuary. One day I will own the original. It is one of my greatest wishes.

And now, I feel like the woman in the painting. I am set free!

I’m grateful you’re here. I love you.

Be well, beautiful soul,

Nikki